If I have learnt something about human relationships, it is that they are complex and purely subjective. ‘To each his own’ applies to all human interactions on this planet. Our interactions with other humans can rarely be simple (at least this is what my personal experience tells me).but amidst all the complexities that one deals with in a lifetime, there are a few relationships which not only defy all odds but make you believe that new beginnings are indeed possible. The loss of a relationship can make way for something so beautiful that you may eventually see beauty in all the broken pieces of your life.
The love story of my best friend, let’s call her H, from college and her husband is one that ignites hope. They have defied not only the stigmas that cripple our society but also have overcome their personal demons to begin their life again with the promise of everlasting love and companionship. On the condition of anonymity, my friend decided to share her story about her life so far.
You got married soon after finishing college. What happened that you decided to walk out of it?
My in-laws and my husband started to harass me for dowry soon after getting married. I was unaware of their financial condition. They were struggling with huge debt and were incapable of managing their expenses. They used to physically and verbally abuse me almost everyday because I never surrendered to their persistent demands of dowry. One day, I decided to walk out and never look back.
After going through a bitter divorce, how was your life?
Despite being in the 21st century, our society is still very conservative. My decision to move out of my abusive marriage was met with a lot of social backlash. My parents stood by me, however, the acceptance from extended family and acquaintances came a lot later. Even though there was no hope of reconciliation in my marriage, I was still asked to go back and ‘try’ to give it another chance.
You are happily married today. How did you meet your husband and what were your thoughts about getting married again?
I met my husband, Suhaan, at a gym. The thought of getting married again had not even crossed my mind. I was full of negativity against men in general and had made up my mind to never get married ever again.
Even though Suhaan wanted to get married, you convinced him for a live-in relationship. What made you do so?
Suhaan is a modern man with firm belief in the institution of marriage. The decision to live-in together was tougher decision for him as he wanted to take the plunge as soon as possible. Due to my divorce, I was very hesitant. I pitched the idea of moving-in together to develop a better understanding of our respective personalities and profession. He was reluctant but eventually agreed to give it a shot.
You and Suhaan finally got married this year! How is life after marriage the second time around?
Life has never been better. Suhaan and I are imperfectly perfect for each other! He has given me two things that I had lost in the past; my confidence and the hope for a bright future.
Do you feel living-in with Suhaan before you got married helped you both in developing a deeper level of understanding?
Yes, of course. Living together before making it legal, helped us both understand each other’s behaviour in the day-to-day context. I realised that even though he is the polar opposite of what I am, I wanted to be with him. Same applies to him as well. He understood the real me with all my eccentricities and all my emotional battles. I would suggest everyone who is thinking about getting hitched to live with your future spouse for sometime, if possible. Real life begins once you are done with the short romantic coffee dates.
H and Suhaan have now been married for almost a year! Here is wishing both of them loads of love and many more years of happiness.
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